Dare I Hope?

Gods be damned! I can't believe the weird feelings brewing in me. Feelings of optimism, an apparent willingness to engage with people who may not agree with the things I believe. I thought I would be ready to push faces in the dirt while laughing my maniacal Bwah-ha-ha! and yelling, "Take that you-you-conservatives!"

But instead, I have this crazy optimism that maybe John McCain is right. Maybe our shared association as Americans is more important than a victory lap. Maybe now we can really find a common ground that isn't founded on the backs of those who have opposing views.

I tell you, it's crazy. Almost as crazy as the feeling I get when I say, "The president elect of the United States of America is Barack Obama!" I don't know how long this feeling will last, but I have made one decision. Instead of celebrating the end of this regime of terror, I will now concentrate on reveling in anticipation of January 20th. It will be a new chance for America and all her citizens.

Or maybe I'm just not getting enough sleep.

A Presidential Endorsement

This just in -- The Greatest President of this country has crossed party lines to endorse Barack Obama for President.

The Pet Goat

My 10:00 Monday meeting is with our CIO and Senior Management. We review the project list (that I pretend to maintain). It usually lasts for about 30 minutes. When we're done, I get to leave and the Sr. Staff and the CIO have a staff meeting. Once in a while I'll be asked to stay because I'm working on a project they will be discussing, but that rarely happens. Today, though I really wish I'd been able to stay.

Just as we are about to get started, our Director of Information Security, Savanna Samson* walked into the meeting looking like she's one step away from her eternal afterlife (this is actually pretty normal, however today she was looking particularly funereal). Anyhow, she drags herself through the door and announces, "There's been another one."

By another one, she is referring to another Security Breach. About two weeks ago our system was "compromised" and a hacker was able to obtain sensitive information like SSNs for nearly 10,000 people (mentioned in The Inmates Are In Control, Part Uno).

Peter North*, the CIO, asks if it's bad. She replies that it is "worse than last time." and that she has been working on it all weekend.

The first thought that pops into my head is, "She's been working on it for 2-3 days and hasn't informed her CIO?"

Peter leaps to action, "Do we need to talk about it now?" Talk about bold leadership.

"No," she says, "we can talk about it in our 10:30." Meaning she won't say anything more until I am out of the room. I guess she knows I'll be informing all my hacker buddies of the countermeasures.

Super CIO says okay, and that's it. Not the slightest sign of being perturbed or upset about this.

And that is Standard Operating Procedure.

He reminds me of George W. Bush sitting in an elementary classroom reading the children's book, The Pet Goat. You can see the wheels turning, but instead of formulating a plan of response you can tell he's thinking, "must look presidential, must look presidential."

Comedy of the Future

Old news:

Under a broad new set of laws criminalizing speech that ridicules the government or its officials, some resurrected verbatim from Saddam Hussein’s penal code, roughly a dozen Iraqi journalists have been charged with offending public officials in the past year.

from: Iraqi Journalists Add Laws to List of Dangers
By PAUL von ZIELBAUER
Published: September 29, 2006

Ahh, Democracy is wonderful! I have images of a new comedian -- a Yakov Smirnoff for a future Iraq. His shtick will be an Iraqi who, now that he is liberated and free to taste the manna that is American Democracy, loses his job as a taxi driver to foreigners coming to Iraq to get jobs. Unfortunately, he gets arrested for telling a joke about George Bush, Jalal Talabani and a donkey named Barbara.

The irony will be that he heard Laura Bush tell the exact same joke on an HBO special.

After 3 years in Gitmo he gets released for lack of evidence and is sent back to Iraq, where he is killed 4 days after returning by American soldiers who mistake him for Osama Bin Laden.

The funny part is that at this point in the future, everyone knows that Osama Bin Laden is doing nightly sold-out shows in Vegas with Charo and George Hamilton.